For whatever reason, it seems my life has been one of those where when everything is going well, something major always has to go wrong.
It seems this year there is no exception to that rule. As of 5 1/2 hours ago, I am no longer employed. Due to a lack of work and funds, the company I was working for had to let me go.
As I sat in the office, listening to it all, it took a moment for me to wrap my head around it. I've never been fired or let go before, and as I sat there, my heart was pounding so hard I was surprised my boss couldn't hear it echoing off the walls.
It's a strange feeling; I'm leaving the company without any ill thoughts and they are definitely doing what they can to help me out.
And it sucks. I'll admit, I'm terrified. I owe 900$ a month in payments right now, and without any income, I'm kind of screwed.
Oddly enough though, I'm also at peace about it. And its really strange because normally when something like this happens my first reaction is to give God the finger and run off fighting tooth and nail to make it on my own, to make it work and to make it happen. This time though, I'm able to sit here and trust that this is happening for a reason. Trust that God closed this door so that He can open another one.
And as I sat there praying and praising on the drive home, I realized that God has actually been preparing me for this moment. First, I applied to two jobs that I definitely wasn't qualified for, and hadn't even been looking for. Upon applying for those jobs, not knowing why, I suddenly got the urge to be proactive -- I followed the one company (World Vision) on Facebook and Twitter, started working on updating my resume and even started my new faith blog. Then, I decided to attend a Social Media and Job Searching seminar at my old college. After the seminar, I promptly started making the changes necessary to my LinkedIn and everything, for no real reason -- I was certain at that moment that I had nothing to worry about.
So, I end this week with the biggest curveball I have ever faced. And I'm terrified. There is a large part of me that is saying I'm completely screwed and there is nothing I can do about it. But I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful and I am confident that I am going to go somewhere. There just might be a few more tears before I get there.
You're right Tabitha in this happening for a reason. You may not know why right now but it will eventually come out....maybe 25-40 years down the road.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how terrified you are with your monthly payments. is there any way you can call these places and explain what's happened and try to work something out?
God has been strengthening your faith in Him and that's why you have that peace within you. Continue praising Him...the world would think that it's 'crazy' to praise and thank God for what's happening but they don't understand. I'm having lots of health issues right now and I'm at peace and praising God because I know that I know that He's in control and this will bring Him the glory. It is also enabling me to be a witness to the people who know me and they wonder why I'm so peaceful and not stressed out. Do cry out to God as He is collecting each and every tear that you have ever shed. He sees your pain and shock right now sweetie and He wants to wrap His loving arms around you and tell you that He's got it under control.
It would seem that God did begin preparing you ahead of time by having you do what you did. I will be praying for you and if it's okay with you I will ask a couple really close prayer warriors friends of mine to pray for you too. When they pray things happen!! Keep me posted on how you are doing. I so appreciate your blogs....I read them all even though I don't comment on all of them. God bless you Tabitha. Betty Catto
*hugs* Just keep breathing and have God take the reigns. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep being proactive and active, but don't "make it work". By this time you've learnt that never works out well. So remind yourself of that and strap in.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw your tweets last night I was so worried! :( It's crazy how God prepares us for these things though. I'm so glad he does! It's scary though. God is there with us, but it's scary when things change and we don't know what's next. I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd... what's the link to your faith blog? I'd love to read it!
I really admire you for being so calm about this - I have to admit that my first reaction in bad situations is often frustration toward God. I hope everything works out well. I will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Robin, you're doing a great job of keeping calm. But this too shall pass. You'll be back in a new job before too long. I'm praying for you too.
DeleteI made a post for you here .
ReplyDeleteI'm about to start following you on twitter @bajangold