For whatever reason, it seems my life has been one of those where when everything is going well, something major always has to go wrong.
It seems this year there is no exception to that rule. As of 5 1/2 hours ago, I am no longer employed. Due to a lack of work and funds, the company I was working for had to let me go.
As I sat in the office, listening to it all, it took a moment for me to wrap my head around it. I've never been fired or let go before, and as I sat there, my heart was pounding so hard I was surprised my boss couldn't hear it echoing off the walls.
It's a strange feeling; I'm leaving the company without any ill thoughts and they are definitely doing what they can to help me out.
And it sucks. I'll admit, I'm terrified. I owe 900$ a month in payments right now, and without any income, I'm kind of screwed.
Oddly enough though, I'm also at peace about it. And its really strange because normally when something like this happens my first reaction is to give God the finger and run off fighting tooth and nail to make it on my own, to make it work and to make it happen. This time though, I'm able to sit here and trust that this is happening for a reason. Trust that God closed this door so that He can open another one.
And as I sat there praying and praising on the drive home, I realized that God has actually been preparing me for this moment. First, I applied to two jobs that I definitely wasn't qualified for, and hadn't even been looking for. Upon applying for those jobs, not knowing why, I suddenly got the urge to be proactive -- I followed the one company (World Vision) on Facebook and Twitter, started working on updating my resume and even started my new faith blog. Then, I decided to attend a Social Media and Job Searching seminar at my old college. After the seminar, I promptly started making the changes necessary to my LinkedIn and everything, for no real reason -- I was certain at that moment that I had nothing to worry about.
So, I end this week with the biggest curveball I have ever faced. And I'm terrified. There is a large part of me that is saying I'm completely screwed and there is nothing I can do about it. But I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful and I am confident that I am going to go somewhere. There just might be a few more tears before I get there.