Hey everyone!
Just wanted to let you know that I am back from Guatemala. Have lots and lots to tell, but will ask that you bear with me a few more days, as I am still trying to get organized (and managed to get a temp job for a few weeks, WOOHOO!)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Goodbye, farewell, adieu!
Well, it has finally come! The day I leave on the Mission's Trip!
By the time you all get this, I will be on my way to Guatemala via Miami.
Please forgive me for not updating, but I will not have internet access.
If you want to see what we're up to, you can check out the Mission Team Blog!
Love you all and will let you know how it went when I get back!
By the time you all get this, I will be on my way to Guatemala via Miami.
Please forgive me for not updating, but I will not have internet access.
If you want to see what we're up to, you can check out the Mission Team Blog!
Love you all and will let you know how it went when I get back!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
I wants it my preciooouusssss.....
Just because this blog has been lacking a little geeky lately, thought you all might enjoy the snapshot of one of the conversations I had with Scott prior to getting the ring.
Today, Let's Talk
If you live in Canada, and your cell phone provider is Bell, then today, you have a chance to make a difference.
If you know someone in your contact list who is a Bell user, you too have the chance to make a difference.
Today is Bell's Let's Talk day, in support of Mental Health awareness. For every text sent and every long distance call made by Bell customers, they will donate 5 cents to Mental Health research.
Today, we fight to break the stigma.
Mental Illness doesn't make you less of a person.
It doesn't make you crazy, it doesn't mean that your life is forfeit.
It can be beaten.
Don't believe me? Then look no further than me for proof.
I have struggled with depression, anxiety and everything that goes with is since I was 6 years old. I've cut, I've attempted suicide, I've had manic episodes, I've even run my life into the ground because I didn't know I could fight. I didn't know that I didn't have to succumb to it.
Two years ago, I was officially diagnosed with BiPolar II disorder. I talked. I got help.
Now? I live life normally. I get up every day, I smile, I laugh. I am a good worker, I can maintain a regular job. I have relationships. I'm calm when I used to be angry.
I may have BiPolar, but that doesn't mean I AM BiPolar.
Mental Illness doesn't define you. Your life is yours. You can beat it.
So today, Let's Talk.
Let's beat the stigma.
Let's change lives.
If you know someone in your contact list who is a Bell user, you too have the chance to make a difference.
Today is Bell's Let's Talk day, in support of Mental Health awareness. For every text sent and every long distance call made by Bell customers, they will donate 5 cents to Mental Health research.
Today, we fight to break the stigma.
Mental Illness doesn't make you less of a person.
It doesn't make you crazy, it doesn't mean that your life is forfeit.
It can be beaten.
Don't believe me? Then look no further than me for proof.
I have struggled with depression, anxiety and everything that goes with is since I was 6 years old. I've cut, I've attempted suicide, I've had manic episodes, I've even run my life into the ground because I didn't know I could fight. I didn't know that I didn't have to succumb to it.
Two years ago, I was officially diagnosed with BiPolar II disorder. I talked. I got help.
Now? I live life normally. I get up every day, I smile, I laugh. I am a good worker, I can maintain a regular job. I have relationships. I'm calm when I used to be angry.
I may have BiPolar, but that doesn't mean I AM BiPolar.
Mental Illness doesn't define you. Your life is yours. You can beat it.
So today, Let's Talk.
Let's beat the stigma.
Let's change lives.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
We need to talk.... Part 2 of the Weekend Story
About half an hour before we were heading out for his dad's birthday dinner, Scott tells me he forgot to get a birthday card, and that we need to go out and get one. I might have been *slightly* annoyed, as I could not figure out for the life of me how he had forgotten to get his father a card when he had been going on about this birthday dinner for several days now, and we had been at Walmart, in the card section, more than once.
I pointed this out on the drive, and he sort of chuckled and shrugged it off. By the time we got the card and headed out to the car, I was getting worried his family would be waiting on us at the restaurant. We paid, and as we we were walking out to the car, he stops for a second.
"So, uhm," he began, looking very serious and sounding kind of ominous, "We need to have a serious talk. Would you mind driving down to the beach before dinner?"
My heart stopped. The sound of his voice terrified me, and I had no idea what we would need to talk about that would require making his family wait on us.
"Fine."
We got in the car, and I acted all cool and calm, but inside I was freaking out. At one point, I wondered if he was going to break up with me, then decided he couldn't be dumping me because that would be a REALLY dick move to do it the night after that amazing date, while we're two hours from home at his parents place.
When we got to the beach, he asked if we could get out and walk around. It was freezing cold, and the sun was setting over the lake, waves crashing. We quickly discussed how strange it was for the beach not to be frozen, and the lack of snow, before he shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking.
I went quiet like I always do when I'm worried something wrong is about to happen. My stomach was in knots.
After about a minute of silence, he spoke up.
"So... we're both in a pretty tight financial situation right now. Are you sure its such a wise idea for us to be considering opening a savings account together?"
Again, my heart stopped. My mind didn't even race. I was just terrified. I began stuttering and explaining why it was still a smart idea and how I thought it would work.
He didn't answer. His lack of response caused my mind to kick into high gear.
Oh my gosh. He's going to break up with me.
No, he can't break up with me. That would be an asshole move. He's not an asshole.
So then what could he be saying?
Oh my gosh. He doesn't want to marry me.
That last thought and my stomach plummeted.
"So, sweetie," he continues, "We have had some problems and stuff along the way..."
At this point, I kind of stopped hearing what he was saying. My mind was in a total frenzy. I didn't understand, I was so confused.
He paused mid-sentence, and sighed. "Aw, the breakwall is covered in ice."
Now, I was even more confused. What did the breakwall have to do with this? (The breakwall is a big long wall with a walkway on it out into the lake).
He shrugged and we walked over towards the harbour in silence. He hadn't touched me the entire time, which was worrying me. The last time a guy had 'a talk' with me and didn't touch me, it was because he was breaking up with me.
We reached the edge of the harbour, and despite my nerves I had to marvel at how different it was from the lake. Thick layers of ice had formed in between all of the docks, with chunks that were running from up to 20 feet long, cracking here and there.
"Wow, lots of ice huh," I said, still unsure of where things were going.
He agreed and then started talking suddenly about marriage, and the work it takes. I still had no idea where it was going, and was really confused.
"Well, obviously its not always going to be good times," I said. "I mean, there is a reason why they say for better or worse." I rambled on a bit more, not looking at him.
"I know."
Okay, so what was next.
He took a deep breath, and I turned to look at him.
"The last few months has been amazing. You make me so happy and I love being with you. I love you so much."
I frowned at this point, completely and utterly confused. Two minutes ago, it sounded like he wanted to break up. Now he's talking marriage and how much he loves me?
I can't be sure, but I think I may have uttered at this point how confused I was.
He turned slightly away for a second, hand in his pocket again, then dropped to one knee and held out a small box with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.
"Will you marry me?"
I burst out in tears, half from excitement, half from sheer exhaustion from the argument that had been going on in my mind for the last ten minutes.
"Yes!" I gasped through the tears.
After putting on the ring, we hugged and kissed and stood there laughing and crying in each others arms.
"I love you so much and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," he said.
"Ditto."
Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant, there was not any irritation over our lateness, but much surprise and celebration.
His mom had been on the whole thing, and so was VERY excited when we arrived with the glittering diamonds on my ring finger.
During all the excitement, his mother took a short video of us. I thought I'd share it with you all too. :)
I pointed this out on the drive, and he sort of chuckled and shrugged it off. By the time we got the card and headed out to the car, I was getting worried his family would be waiting on us at the restaurant. We paid, and as we we were walking out to the car, he stops for a second.
"So, uhm," he began, looking very serious and sounding kind of ominous, "We need to have a serious talk. Would you mind driving down to the beach before dinner?"
My heart stopped. The sound of his voice terrified me, and I had no idea what we would need to talk about that would require making his family wait on us.
"Fine."
We got in the car, and I acted all cool and calm, but inside I was freaking out. At one point, I wondered if he was going to break up with me, then decided he couldn't be dumping me because that would be a REALLY dick move to do it the night after that amazing date, while we're two hours from home at his parents place.
When we got to the beach, he asked if we could get out and walk around. It was freezing cold, and the sun was setting over the lake, waves crashing. We quickly discussed how strange it was for the beach not to be frozen, and the lack of snow, before he shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking.
I went quiet like I always do when I'm worried something wrong is about to happen. My stomach was in knots.
After about a minute of silence, he spoke up.
"So... we're both in a pretty tight financial situation right now. Are you sure its such a wise idea for us to be considering opening a savings account together?"
Again, my heart stopped. My mind didn't even race. I was just terrified. I began stuttering and explaining why it was still a smart idea and how I thought it would work.
He didn't answer. His lack of response caused my mind to kick into high gear.
Oh my gosh. He's going to break up with me.
No, he can't break up with me. That would be an asshole move. He's not an asshole.
So then what could he be saying?
Oh my gosh. He doesn't want to marry me.
That last thought and my stomach plummeted.
"So, sweetie," he continues, "We have had some problems and stuff along the way..."
At this point, I kind of stopped hearing what he was saying. My mind was in a total frenzy. I didn't understand, I was so confused.
He paused mid-sentence, and sighed. "Aw, the breakwall is covered in ice."
Now, I was even more confused. What did the breakwall have to do with this? (The breakwall is a big long wall with a walkway on it out into the lake).
He shrugged and we walked over towards the harbour in silence. He hadn't touched me the entire time, which was worrying me. The last time a guy had 'a talk' with me and didn't touch me, it was because he was breaking up with me.
We reached the edge of the harbour, and despite my nerves I had to marvel at how different it was from the lake. Thick layers of ice had formed in between all of the docks, with chunks that were running from up to 20 feet long, cracking here and there.
"Wow, lots of ice huh," I said, still unsure of where things were going.
He agreed and then started talking suddenly about marriage, and the work it takes. I still had no idea where it was going, and was really confused.
"Well, obviously its not always going to be good times," I said. "I mean, there is a reason why they say for better or worse." I rambled on a bit more, not looking at him.
"I know."
Okay, so what was next.
He took a deep breath, and I turned to look at him.
"The last few months has been amazing. You make me so happy and I love being with you. I love you so much."
I frowned at this point, completely and utterly confused. Two minutes ago, it sounded like he wanted to break up. Now he's talking marriage and how much he loves me?
I can't be sure, but I think I may have uttered at this point how confused I was.
He turned slightly away for a second, hand in his pocket again, then dropped to one knee and held out a small box with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.
"Will you marry me?"
I burst out in tears, half from excitement, half from sheer exhaustion from the argument that had been going on in my mind for the last ten minutes.
"Yes!" I gasped through the tears.
After putting on the ring, we hugged and kissed and stood there laughing and crying in each others arms.
"I love you so much and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," he said.
"Ditto."
Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant, there was not any irritation over our lateness, but much surprise and celebration.
His mom had been on the whole thing, and so was VERY excited when we arrived with the glittering diamonds on my ring finger.
During all the excitement, his mother took a short video of us. I thought I'd share it with you all too. :)
The one post I'm allowed to go all mushy...
This weekend Scott and I headed up to his hometown to spend some time with the fam and celebrate our 6 month anniversary. I knew he had something planned, but had to wait to find out what it was. Thursday night we spent playing board games with mom and his brother (and I got my rear handed to me in Monopoly). We stayed up way later than I've been up in a while, watched a few episodes of the OC, and went to bed.
When I got up Friday morning, Scott popped out of his room, gave me a kiss and asked if I wanted pancakes for breakfast. I was *starving*, so I said yes, so long as they wouldn't take a long time to make. I hopped in the shower, got ready for the day, and came out to find a dozen red and white roses on the table, and a pancake in the shape of a heart.
The roses were absolutely stunning. They were the first flowers that I had ever received from any guy, and I may have teared up just a little bit when I saw them and the heart shaped pancakes.
Later that night we got all dressed up to go out to dinner at Scott's surprise date place. I spent way more time on my hair and makeup than I have in a very, very long time, and even wore a dress and heels for the location.
The weekend however, was not over. Saturday was his dad's birthday, so we all were planning to go out for dinner. But apparently, the surprises were not over for me either yet...
Stay tuned for the continuation of this story!
When I got up Friday morning, Scott popped out of his room, gave me a kiss and asked if I wanted pancakes for breakfast. I was *starving*, so I said yes, so long as they wouldn't take a long time to make. I hopped in the shower, got ready for the day, and came out to find a dozen red and white roses on the table, and a pancake in the shape of a heart.
The roses were absolutely stunning. They were the first flowers that I had ever received from any guy, and I may have teared up just a little bit when I saw them and the heart shaped pancakes.
Later that night we got all dressed up to go out to dinner at Scott's surprise date place. I spent way more time on my hair and makeup than I have in a very, very long time, and even wore a dress and heels for the location.
Dinner was at a fancy Swiss Restaurant called Andre's, and I had the most amazing and delicious steak I have ever had.
I'm not going to lie. I actually thought Scott might propose while we were out. We had been talking marriage and engagement for a while, and I really thought he was going to propose while out. So, I was a little disappointed when he didn't.
Still though, he had totally outdone himself, and all I could think of was how amazing he is and how special I felt. An entire evening dedicated just to us. I don't think I had had anyone put that much effort into a special night with me in my whole dating history. All night, he kept telling me how beautiful I looked and how happy he was to be with me.
On the way home, we picked up a bottle of champagne then went back to his parent's house, where he led me by the hand into my room for the next surprise.
Since I will be in Guatemala over Valentine's Day, our special anniversary date also doubled over as an anniversary date. He even bought a chick-flick for us to watch together.
Needless to say, I was a VERY happy girl that night, even without the ring. I was so happy and felt so special and loved.
Stay tuned for the continuation of this story!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I'm freaking out, man!
I'm sure many of you have been, are or are about to fall into this boat. Job hunting for a full time job during a time when the only full time jobs on the market want 15+ years experience and are senior level positions.
There are times when I start to wonder if getting that post-secondary education was just a waste of time and money. I don't doubt my skills for a second, but I do doubt how I'll ever be able to prove them.
I'm worried. I'm scared that I'm going to end up not being able to secure anything beyond a part-time job, living my life barely scraping past the welfare line, in debt up to my ears, never quite making it past 'barely surviving'.
The truth is, when it comes to hunting for a job and sending in applications, I feel like an ant lost in the middle of a department store. I have no idea where to turn, what to say, who to chase. I literally feel so overwhelmed that all I can do is stress about not knowing where to go next.
There was a day when I was pro at job hunting. I never applied for a job that I didn't get an interview for, and I never interviewed at a job I didn't get an offer for.
But since college, it's been different, and I have to say, it's been discouraging.
Once I started at SPC, I thought all that had changed. I didn't think I would need to worry for at least a little while.
Now, I'm kinda freaked out. And I know things will all work out. I know to trust in God, and I have peace that God will take care of me. I just have no idea how to go about all of this.
So if any of you are pro-job hunters, I would love a few tips on how to go about this. Because in the words of that dude from super troopers "I'm freaking out man!"
There are times when I start to wonder if getting that post-secondary education was just a waste of time and money. I don't doubt my skills for a second, but I do doubt how I'll ever be able to prove them.
I'm worried. I'm scared that I'm going to end up not being able to secure anything beyond a part-time job, living my life barely scraping past the welfare line, in debt up to my ears, never quite making it past 'barely surviving'.
The truth is, when it comes to hunting for a job and sending in applications, I feel like an ant lost in the middle of a department store. I have no idea where to turn, what to say, who to chase. I literally feel so overwhelmed that all I can do is stress about not knowing where to go next.
There was a day when I was pro at job hunting. I never applied for a job that I didn't get an interview for, and I never interviewed at a job I didn't get an offer for.
But since college, it's been different, and I have to say, it's been discouraging.
Once I started at SPC, I thought all that had changed. I didn't think I would need to worry for at least a little while.
Now, I'm kinda freaked out. And I know things will all work out. I know to trust in God, and I have peace that God will take care of me. I just have no idea how to go about all of this.
So if any of you are pro-job hunters, I would love a few tips on how to go about this. Because in the words of that dude from super troopers "I'm freaking out man!"
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